White House Entertainment Network Review

Or trying to stay on top of the endless Washington scandals (For those who don’t immediately recognize the fact, this is satire!)

The Terror Show
Format: Based on proven past performers, this show was developed by VPOTUS aka The smoking Pen and produced by POTUS aka The Decider.
A special production team, Homeland Security was quickly assembled to get this show launched, but rating went through the roof when the war episodes Afghanistan - get Bin laden, and Iraq – American Democracy Everywhere, where introduced.
Ratings are slipping as other shows claim the limelight. The producers might need to pull teams from this show to bolster ratings with another war episode. Iran, No you can’t have the Bomb is a possible theme for the next series.
I can hear You! – This show is really starting to rate.
Another spinoff from Intrigue Central and original concept reality show by the remarkable POTUS, The Decider. What makes this reality show different is that contestants, drawn from the audience, are included in the game without their knowledge.
Early feedback suggests viewers are not particularly keen on the candid camera (or secret cell phone) format delving into their lives.

The Plame Affair had it’s beginnings in the Terror Show, Iraq – American Democracy Everywhere episodes. It proved so popular and enduring a spin-off series quickly resulted. The cast is monumental although the lead role, surprisingly, is being avoided by most of the top players:
Scooter Libby wants out of this show. He’s trying to hand over to;
Karl Rove. Did he know? Did he tell? Is he the next big star to feature in this series, or is he about to dump it like a hot potato? Who would catch the roll?
VPOTUS aks The Smoking Pen is content with his job as producer, but serious reviewers are keen to see him take the lead in the Plame Affair.
Abramoff Gang
Too much drama in the early days of this show. Abramoff and friends are busy talking about future plots for the program’s inevitable return. Some reviewers believe Abramoff’s greed, in capturing the lead role, distracts attention from some far more worthy players.
One player able to rest some attention from the star is Tom DeLay. However reviewers suggest that he damaged his high profile potential by dumping his other main role ‘leader of the house majority – The Hammer’.
For serious viewers, the Abramoff Gang promises to deliver sporadic, high quality episodes.


To catch a Spy
This is a spin-off of a show most of us thought dead and buried, Top Shot, the Randy Duke Show. Talk about bringing the murdered star back to life. This plot is right out of Dallas, with a little bit of Elliot Ness stirred in.
After the original series ended, entrepreneurs extraordinary, FBI Inc sat down and did a complete rewrite. The ‘Defense Contractor’ from the first show became the Washington Pimp. Writers took the brave step of writing in even more congressmen, as well as CIA operatives and arms buyers.
It is hard to say where the writers will take this plot. It is already in the realms of the ‘fantastic’. The inclusion of prostitutes gave a wonderfully titillating touch, but that was positively explosive when they were revealed as gay prostitutes.
The show also includes cheeky references to POTUS – The Decider. The latest episode includes scenes where POTUS nominates his favourite general to lead the CIA, only to have the hapless soldier named in dispatches by FBI Inc.

The Mexicans are Coming is a show aimed directly at a minority audience – the filthy rich. Unfortunately this show suffers from a sense that ‘The Mexicans are already here,’ relieving it of much of its potential drama.
S&M at the Bay
Lots of hideously gruesome torture and abuse in this one for those who enjoy that something special. Obviously the core audience is very small and the concept hasn’t caught fire in the US. Some suggest that many of the names in this show are just too difficult for the average viewer.Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay, for example, don’t roll off the tongue. Many of the main players are foreigners, which also works against the shows success.

Horsies, with Katherine Harris. This has been a largely failed attempt to lift rating by introducing sex, We all know sex sells, but reviewers have consistently panned this show because it lacks the vital ingredient; sex. “The whole thing is over-inflated,” one unnamed reviewer said. “Well both of them, actually,” he added.
The show is said to be a big hit in the male recreation rooms of Florida aged care homes.


Intrigue Central keeps trying to improve interest and ratings in its flagging formats. The difficulty of signing up new talent, in the face of so much high rating competition in the new lineup is obvious.
A few of the bit players have been given larger roles, but fail to create excitement. The much anticipated introduction of new star, Fox’s Tony Snow, is stirring up a little excitement. However viewers doubt that he will have the same ‘stone wall’ presence of the man he replaces.
Intrigue Centrals new producer, ‘Lightning’ Bolton still needs to pull something out of the bag here.
Side Show – Love the Decider. The concept here was to drive the main shows popularity by lifting the public visibility of POTUS, then feeding back the popularity ratings. The difficulty arose, once the process began, and the popularity of The Decider turned out to be negligible. Once the show was announced, producers have been unable to withdraw it from an audience hungry for the discomfort of others.

User Pays, subtitles Gas through the Roof. Nervous sponsors of Intrigue Central have been keen to maximize their profits now, in case the show really flops. As these are mainly oil interests, they have decided on a user pays system. If you choose to support POTUS’s programs then you can pay more for your gas. Not popular perhaps, but viewers seem too addicted to the network to be able to break the habit.

Katrina – The network is still having problems from the intrusion of the whirlwind Katrina show. This one off show swamped ratings and totally surprised the network when it hit. Intrigue Central hired contactor, Flaky Brown Leaves, in what has been described as a humanitarian gesture, to recover funs lost by Katrina.
VPOTUS – The Smoking Pen, rather than claim kudos for this move, leaked a memo detailing how orphans and cripples would benefit from the good works. Such a nice man.

Giving You the Break – Another spin-off, with minority appeal – the filthy rich. POTUS has focused on potential investors to save the network from financial ruin. “Here is how it works,” POTUS announced. “I give you two buckets of money, then you bring one back later and leave it on the doorstep.” The wider audience watched ‘bemused’ according to reports. “It’s all just over their heads,” a smiling POTUS claimed.