How net closed on plot to kill democracy

(With tongue planted firmly in cheek for those who miss the satire)

FOR several months British anti-terrorist police and MI5 had patiently monitored the meetings, movements, spending patterns, internet use and telephone conversations of the targets, some 30 young Islamic men.

When police finally swooped and arrested the terrorists a grotesque plot to destroy democracy was quickly revealed.

With the political stakes high in Britain and the US, the operation was intended to focus minds on real issues, according to Home Secretary Reid. “They just don’t get it!” he added.

The imperatives for Blair and Bush are nothing less than securing power in their respective countries. Bush is preparing his citizens for the vital mid-term elections in November and must leave no room for doubt in voter’s minds.

For Blair the issue is far more immediate, with MPs from all sides clamouring for a recall of parliament to for open debate on his government’s strategic policies.

But the disclosure that police had broken up a major terrorist plot strengthened the case for the recall of Parliament, British MPs said yesterday.

The MI5 branch of the CIA is furious that their well oiled plans for this offensive have been spoiled by the ‘lack of commitment’ from other agencies.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, one spy said; “It’s those bloody plods and pen pushers,’ referring to the police and various official media spokesmen.

“We don’t have power of arrest so we have to use the bloody plods. The damn fools kept asking questions, didn’t they. Said they had to cover their arses and wanted to know all the details. Well, we couldn’t rally tell them much so then they go shooting their mouths off to the press, ‘oh no, an attack wasn’t imminent’.

As for the useless media bastards, they couldn’t get their act together either. All they had to do was run the story, not garnish it with all sorts of qualifications. Washington is livid, and I don’t blame them!”

The plot came to light as media officers finally swung into action when publishers and editors were finally given access to the properly prepared stories. Talk of shredding the earlier, ‘erroneous’ newspapers was abandoned when it was discovered that there was no way of recalling them secretly.

Media officers then moved to plan B, to flood media with the official stories in the hope that readers and viewers were still focused on the sports.

The news anomaly, however, was spotted by a little know blogger from Lower Slaughter in Gloucestershire. Although connected to the web by an ancient acoustic couple, the blog site; Interesting things that happen to me, posed the curios questions, which was soon picked up across the world.

"What is a terrorist?" he asked. "What is a plane?" he went on. "And anyway, where is this bloomin America they all talk about?" Serious questions indeed, and questions which might still save our democratic institutions from the forces of evil.