Pipers revenge

Silly me, I was always under the impression that soldiering was a career fraught with serious hazards. All that standing in the line of fire, dodging bullets and bombs, sounds pretty hairy to me.

So I was delighted to hear that, in Britain, the health and safety people have now moved in to clean things up:

Soldiers learning to play the bagpipes have been told to limit their practice sessions to only 24 minutes a day, or 15 minutes when indoors.

Pipers will also have to wear ear plugs under the new guidelines brought in by health and safety officials.

Tests showed that outdoors the sound of bagpipes could reach 111 decibels, slightly louder than a pneumatic drill. Indoors, the instrument could reach 116 decibels, or as loud as a chainsaw.

So we await anxiously for all those other safety measures, to ensure the long and healthy life of warriors previously expected to test the penetrating qualities of military ordinance.