Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Scandal not sexy enough

Site stats, media coverage and now former Deputy Secretary of State, Armitage, have all confirmed it: the Australian investigation into funding Saddam’s war machine to the tune of $300 million is a non starter, a fizz; boring as bat shit.

It’s got a bunch of big players, global and downunder (if the latter is not an oxymoron) but it just doesn’t cut the mustard. Armitage said so, and he is SOLID! Well, built like a brick shithouse anyway, and too big for me to argue with.

I guess he’s right in some ways, $300 million is just chump change when it comes to congressional scandals. And the US has enough homegrown ‘Bush suckholes’ without looking for them somewhere in the back of ‘middle-earth’.

So why the hell do I still get excited by the constant stream of revelations and sidegames from this saga? Beats me, but seeing asw I do, I’d better tell myself about the latest.

It’s been a great week for the veteran Oil for Food scandal watcher. First was aforementioned Dickie Armitage’s little eye opener to the Australian media - US not interested in AWB scandal - along the lines of: “well I’ve noticed it of course, but no-one anywhere else in the world really gives a rats arse.”

But Dickie, you are wrong! Don’t hit me, let me prove it to you. Somewhere, in his voluminous musings on the State of things US, Washington scribe Alan Bjerga has snuck the story into the US media. Link: Kansas farmers get break in Iraq market

Don’t ask me how he did it, but there it is, in at least two Kansas media outlets. Don’t email me to find out where Kansas is, email Bjerga directly. But I’m sure you will find it is poking about somewhere among the fifty states.

Ok, Dickie, point taken, Bjerga hasn’t exactly struck a match under the story either, but at least you know there is someone out there besides you and Colin Powell who know about this story.

Turning to things antipodean; (Which is English for “you Americans can go back to watching Family Guy now while we investigate the slimy toads of the Australian government.)

In a remarkably upbeat TV interview, recent star witness at the Cole Inquiry into the affair, Foreign Minister and Pacific Head Prefect, Alex Downer put the country straight on the state of play.

Alex was saying he is not surprised by polls showing the AWB scandal was hurting the Government. "We set up the Cole commission ourselves to get to the heart of this matter.

"People are making all sorts of claims against the Government. Most of them have, as time's gone by, been dismissed.

Downer said it had been a very sophisticated act of deception by AWB.

"If the public servants had known about it they would have acted to stop it ... there is not a scintilla of evidence that public servants turned a blind eye."

Funny, I must be reading a different transcript to Alex. Seems to me more than one public servant has said they had seen and then dismissed those flashing warning signals. It sound like the FM is trying to craft a silk purse out of the pig’s arse hole to match his fishnet stockings.

Then Alex’s boss, none other than Honest John Howard, after fronting the Inquiry, broke his own rules of this game – not to mention a few legal niceties – by delivering his very own verdict on the outcome of the inquiry.

Terrence Cole might as well pack up now, because the government already appears to have his final report drafted and printed. Ain’t the law and the democratic process a wonderful beast?

The most interesting aspect of this sordid saga, to a self confessed scandal junkie, is that after many months of publicity, the AWB affair is starting to bite politically. Prior to the three amigos; Howard, Downer and Deputy PM Vaile appearing at the Inquiry the Australian public was as disinterested as their American counterparts.

Which just goes to show, it rally does pay for pollies to keep a low profile. While they don’t see them voters tend to be quite content. It’s only when they come out from cover the underlying contempt and animosity surfaces.

It surfaces in a wonderfully democratic way too; because it’s not just the government who suffer at the polls but politicians as a class. Oh how we love to hate them, and how they manage to confirm our prejudices so consistently.

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