Watch your Ps and Qs

Passengers recorded to foil hijackers
Air passengers could have their conversations and movements monitored as work intensifies to design the terrorist-proof aeroplane.

I'm not sure what a computer would make of my utterances on aeroplanes. Generally the tend to the dad's joke through to a bit of black humour. "a few potholes in the road," is always good for an extra groan when the turbulence hits.

There are always those share observations: "Bit chilly out today" or "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing when we hit!"

But it isn't all fun and games, ignorance in close confines tends to get the normally placid me a bit rattled. Like the last long haul when we'd just cleared Sydney and the seat belt sign was turned off.

As it is I had my knees around my ears in the tight seating and the joker in front of me did a full seat recline. I did a polite thump on the back of the seat, just a hint that there might be a problem. No movement.

I twisted, the parts of my body I could move, so that I could see the guys face: "Not time for sleeps china," I offered. "You can put your seat up until they turn the lights out."

Nothing.

A bit louder, "It is still full bloody daylight, put you effing seat up!"

Response, "you talking to me?"

"No, I was shouting. The next step will be..." I didn't finish because he put his seat up at that point.

As I sat back the light of my life pointed out that that was a perfect way to begin 14 hours cooped in close quarters. I agreed with her, perfect! At least the seat didn't come back to attack me, not through the whole flight.

Now if those computers at the other end of the microphones had been listening in I suspect they might have detected a problem with my tone. Could my helpful suggestion be taken as some kind of terrorist threat?

I know I'll need to be a little more circumspect in future, the options are becoming limited. I can't even carry a bottle of water, which might accidentally spill over anyone invading my extremely limited space.

st-proof aeroplane.

I'm not sure what a computer would make of my utterances on aeroplanes. Generally the tend to the dad's joke through to a bit of black humour. "a few potholes in the road," is always good for an extra groan when the turbulence hits.

There are always those share observations: "Bit chilly out today" or "Don't worry, you won't feel a thing when we hit!"

But it isn't all fun and games, ignorance in close confines tends to get the normally placid me a bit rattled. Like the last long haul when we'd just cleared Sydney and the seat belt sign was turned off.

As it is I had my knees around my ears in the tight seating and the joker in front of me did a full seat recline. I did a polite thump on the back of the seat, just a hint that there might be a problem. No movement.

I twisted, the parts of my body I could move, so that I could see the guys face: "Not time for sleeps china," I offered. "You can put your seat up until they turn the lights out."

Nothing.

A bit louder, "It is still full bloody daylight, put you effing seat up!"

Response, "you talking to me?"

"No, I was shouting. The next step will be..." I didn't finish because he put his seat up at that point.

As I sat back the light of my life pointed out that that was a perfect way to begin 14 hours cooped in close quarters. I agreed with her, perfect! At least the seat didn't come back to attack me, not through the whole flight.

Now if those computers at the other end of the microphones had been listening in I suspect they might have detected a problem with my tone. Could my helpful suggestion be taken as some kind of terrorist threat?

I know I'll need to be a little more circumspect in future, the options are becoming limited. I can't even carry a bottle of water, which might accidentally spill over anyone invading my extremely limited space.