Saturday, February 10, 2007

The dingo dropping ate my country

So Grub Street is still existing in sweltering Queensland, for another week at least. So we might just as well look at some of the local colour which might at least equal kvatch’s ‘avin's Glass Ceiling’. Though there might be a stretch between uttering the words and accomplishing the actions.

We have in Australia, a robust society. One might say we are more attuned to oral sex; we discuss it often enough. But sexual allusion aside, and before we visit the fact that our PM (prick meister) might actually retain his current position, a little cultural background might be in order.

These bits emanate from my current geographical/political home Queensland:

Dumped Johnstone Shire councillor George Pervan is hopping mad.

He's vowing to get square with "hairy-legged mongrels" he accuses of conspiring with "bureaucratic boofheads" to abruptly sack him and the rest of the elected leadership of one of Australia's most colourful shire councils.

"I can't believe it - I even got in trouble for calling the girls here 'birds' and 'sheilas'," Mr Pervan, a former deputy mayor, told The Weekend Australian yesterday.

"What's the problem? People can call me anything as long as they don't call me late for dinner or a beer. The bloody silvertails are taking over. I'm a mad Yugoslav. But I'm having a bad run right now

Behaviour in the Queensland Parliament reached an all-time low yesterday [ no one really knows where the bottom of this pond really is] as the Nationals' Rob Messenger compared Premier Peter Beattie to a prostitute and "one of the most disgusting and contemptuous (sic) people to have ever drawn breath in Queensland".

In scenes reminiscent of schoolyard bullying, he was in turn accused of having "ape-like manners" and "low intellect".

While debating extra protection for whistleblowers, Mr Messenger on Wednesday night likened the Premier in a dinner suit to "watching a prostitute dressed in a ballgown talking about celibacy"

Conservative MPs went on with their descriptions labelling the government as "crooks", "baboons" and "lower than a dingo's droppings"


So don't worry that I'm slower than a bush fly drinking sweat! I’d still prefer my reps were out screwing their brains out! Well some of them; no one wants John Howard to get that close to their body!

Which brings me to the Prick Meister who will more than likely retain his tax free rental accommodation for the next few years. Sure he is way behind in the polls, but did unpopularity ever worry our John Howard? He has been give a less than 100,000 chance, but I’m not running off to the local bookie!

This is the bloke, back in the dreaded 60s who would turn up at branch meetings in his grass stained cricket whites! The rst of us might have had various grass stains, but they held some semblance of honour.

He was perceived then as lower than dingo droppings, but he still became PM! He is currently detested on his ‘position’ (the sad equivalent of missionary position) on a range of vital international issues.

The simple fact is, and I hate the whole idea, he will win because of those bloody economic indicators.

First Examining elections from 1966, Simon Jackman of Stanford University and Gary Marks of the Melbourne Institute found that for every one percentage point fall in the unemployment rate, an incumbent government can expect to be rewarded with a swing in its favour of 0.75 percentage points in its share of the two-party preferred vote.

So what does that tell us? Australia's unemployment rate has fallen by 0.8 of a percentage point since the 2004 election. Based on the economists' modelling, the Howard Government could expect a swing in its favour of about another half of a percentage point in its share of the vote, based on the jobless numbers so far.

Second the interest rates, hurting or not, are holding.

The numbers aren’t with change yet. The bloody silvertails are taking over. I'm a mad Yugoslav (well it is a good line!) We are watching a prostitute dressed in a cricket whites talking about celibacy" (or no balls); and a government of "crooks", "baboons" and "lower than a dingo's droppings"

But unless the economic indicators are wrong PM Lazarus will rise again.


abi said...

Thanks, Cartledge. It's nice to hear about another country's lower-than-a-dingo-dropping pols for a change. ;-)

Cartledge said...

abi, I'm pleased it gives someone a laugh!